wanna
kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet
another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room,
close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten
over and over and over You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very
last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down,
holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. A
few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you
dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on
your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to
your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in
your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your
name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and
sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying,
holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits
him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the
wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to
him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. The next day at school,
there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It
takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent.
Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you.
Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you.
That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate
himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend,
the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can’t handle
it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends?
They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was
wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best
friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going
through, but she never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end
it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the
classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming
out. It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew
you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was
always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all
the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your
little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your
parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you
were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong
through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into
the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn’t stop for days.
It’s two years later. The whole school talks to a counselor/therapist at least
once a week. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating
disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend
doesn’t know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your
friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself.
She didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried…your brother? He finally found
out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does
exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their
marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your
death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day.
People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just effect
you. They effect everyone. Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for.
Things can’t get better if you give up.